i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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