he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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