conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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