Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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