i jhust puked up my retainher.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
