Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize