I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
