is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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