watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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