You're so nebulous sometimes
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
