He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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