she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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