we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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