He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
