Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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