sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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