our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
