I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
