so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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