Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
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