TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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