Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Randomize
