thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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