We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
