First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
