I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize