I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
