Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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