You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
