My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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