These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize