You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
