I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
