Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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