Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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