loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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