Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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