More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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