i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just found a bag of teeth...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize