You smell like stripper and shame
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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