shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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