i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Two words: blizzard sex
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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