every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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