i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
