Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
