So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
