A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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