Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
