I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
