what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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