Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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