I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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