so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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