I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
