He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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