please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
