Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
