so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
