I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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