I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
