I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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