hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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