Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
