And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
