as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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