Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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