Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
