So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
