I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
