Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
