Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
