five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
